Big Cat: creative commons license - originally from flickr.com (it may have been removed)
Odes to Zuts: a Cat Literary Catalog
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We do not bite the heads
off squirrel COOKIES, dear Zuts.
Thinking of you,
The Cats
Dear Santa Claws,
Zuts is still alive.
All we want for Christmas are his two front teeth.
We think you get our drift.
-The Cats of Ste. Genevieve
Cats-
Does ANYONE know how to use a pellet-gun?
We could use your expertise here
in Ste. Gen to improve the world.
- The Cats of Ste. Gen
Concerning the Way We Worked
The Cats of Ste. Genevieve would like to recognize the family of Zuts.
Over the years, if they were not so slow, weak and stupid, or even if
they had been a whole lot faster, stronger, and smarter, we might be
a lot hungrier.
Dear Zuts,
We are SORRY we hurt your widdle feelings. Very sorry. Oh, so sorry. SORRY!!
We will meet you at midnight in the middle of the yard behind the LeMeilleur house,
away from all the trees and ground cover, to tell you how sorry we are. Come alone
and unarmed.
-The Cats
Zits-
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
What they did to the PIG
We will do to you.
XOXOXOXOXOX
-The Cats
Pecan Stuffed
Squirrel Sounds
GOOD for
Thanksgiving
Under a spreading pecan tree
The stinking squirrel stands;
That Zuts, a mighty pest is he,
With large and sinewy glands;
And the muscles of his scrawny arms
Are strong as iron sands.
His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with feigned sweat,
He steals whate'er he can.
Dear Zuts,
Sorry we missed you. We guess you were hanging
around with the other CHICKENS.
All we saw was a hairball with a toothpick
chittering maniacally.
XOXOXOX
The Cats
P.S. Learn to spell "duel' correctly. That was embarrassing. - tc
On Squirrels
I think that I shall never see
A squirrel lovely as a tree.
A pest whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A pest that is meant for prey
And sleeps his lazy arms all day;
A pest that may in summer wear
Robbed fruit from a gardener;
Within whose head no thought has lain;
Who intimitely gives us pain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But why did God make them ugly?
-Given at the Cat Poets Society
Thanksgiving Celebration
Bolduc House Salon
Ste. Genevieve, 11/24/2011
in honor of Zuts
O Squirrel Tree
O Squirrel Tree -
We're gonna eat
That Squirrel Tree
The ornaments
Of birds and
Squirrels
Outward hence
We shall hurl
O Squirrel Tree
O Squirrel Tree
Doom upon thee
We shall unfurl!
ATTENTION ALL CATS!!!
Every March we offer tours to the "Disgusting Dreys of Ste. Gen", on which your tour guide will
provide amusing anecdotes concerning the demise of the former inhabitant of each drey. Tours will begin as coordinated on
your mobile phones. Our starting point will be at Zuts' new drey (one of the most DISGUSTING to be found ANYWHERE!) and end there with a light
meal of fresh squirrel if he is at home. Certainly he never cleans when he IS at home. We have never caught him cleaning,
anyway (a little CAT humor there). Contributions will go towards the procurement of pellet guns and lessons.
-The Feline FireArm Force of Ste.Gen
Where have all the squirrels gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the squirrels gone...
Long time ago
Where have all the squirrels gone?
Eaten by Cats, every one!
When will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the cats gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the cats gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the cats gone?
Gone squirrel hunting, every one!
The Cats' Christmas Party will be in the Linden House basement with Fresh
Squirrel & Herbs as the Main Course. Zuts, you are invited. Don't worry about
when - we will pick you up. Just bathe to get rid of that "muskie" smell that Alice hates.
"Over Your dead body,"
Zuts,
is EXACTLY what we have in mind
for the Christmas Party.
It would not be the same without you.
XOXOXOXOXOX
- The Cats
For Valentine's Day get your sweetie a nice chocolate covered squirrel! On sale now from the Cats of Ste. Genevieve,
as we have recently discovered stores of chocolate round about, and there is always an abundance of expendible
rodents. Proceeds will assist in the purchase of pellet rifles and lessons for a worthy cause.
Ninety-Nine Squirrels sat in a row
Ninety-Nine Squirrels!
Take one down and pass it around-
Ninety-Eight Squirrels sat in a row
Ninety-Eight Squirrels!
Take one down and pass it around-
etc. - Do we have to spell it out?
Send us your CAT Poetry (keep it clean!) and we may consider adding it!
Found A Squirrel
Found A Squirrel
Found A Squirrel, Just Now...
I just now found a squirrel
It was rotten, must be Zuts.
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